50 Shades of Bay(bay)

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It’s really happening! I haven’t wrote much about my pregnancy (or blogged much at all I guess for that matter), but as we are approaching the home stretch, I had a number of thoughts that I figured I would share.

Pregnancy is quite the interesting experience. Especially if it’s your first time and the only thing that you have to compare it to is… not being pregnant.
Pregnancy is different for each individual and most of the women I know who have more than one child have told me each of their pregnancies varied greatly. Most of the time, people don’t know what to say and half the time when they do, it’s not what you want to hear.

As women, there’s all sorts of expectations that are set for us by society, men and other women. As a pregnant woman, I think it enters a whole different level. As a pregnant woman working in the fitness industry, some days it seemed like it entered a whole different realm.

I shared this quote a while back on an old blog post:

“If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.” – Dr. Gail Dines

I mean, it’s pretty true, right?

Add in all of the changes that your body goes through during pregnancy (yes, I realize what happens post baby is going to rock my world, you don’t need to start schoolin’ me on that just yet) and you’re in a whole different ballpark. One moment you’re embracing all that your body is capable of (and will be capable of) and the next you’ve called your Mom and blindsided her with a rage filled rant.

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All of that being said, here are 50 thoughts, realizations…whatever you want to call them, that I’ve had over the past 6 months or so in no particular order…

1. “I guess Red Bull no longer works for me. I just drank a Red Bull and I am falling asleep. How can I be this tired? I must have finally become immune to it.” *newsflash – you may be pregnant* Right after I found out I was pregnant I made the decision to say see ya later to my wiiings. Yes, I know you can have caffeine during pregnancy, but I had gotten back in quite the cycle of Red Bull consumption so it was the perfect opportunity to kick it to the curb. Additionally, caffeine tends to give me a bit of anxiety and I wanted to make sure I was doing everything I could to eliminate any additional anxiety at this exciting, but slightly terrifying time.

2. There’s a Meme (several variations) that says, “Do you ever look back on old photos when you thought you were fat, but you really weren’t and now you actually are fat and wishing you were fat like back then.” Chill out, I’m not calling myself fat, but this does make me laugh because when I look at pictures or videos that I took earlier on to show “the bump”, I’m like, “Girl, you look like you just had two cheeseburgers instead of one, you don’t even look pregnant.” And now I’m like “Ohhhh, yeah you look pregnant.” Can’t wait to see what I will look like in the next 7 weeks or so!

3. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you so much. You are going to be the best husband and father. How did I get so lucky? Literally heaven sent.

4. Five minutes later…Why are you breathing like that? Did you always chew that way? Is that a new cologne – it smells terrible? Why are you in the same room as me? Why are you not doing exactly what I want you to be doing even though I haven’t told you anything?

5. Five minutes later…Omg, I love you so much, I could just look at you forever and be around you nonstop.

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6. Using pregnancy as an excuse. Alright, alright, a lot of the times it wasn’t an excuse. Buttt, sometimes, I just felt like I was behaving like when people get to that age where they no longer have any filter and just say exactly what they are thinking.

7. You use your core A LOT for pushups. I mean, obviously…but as things progressed, I started to become VERY humble. I suppose the extra weight doesn’t help either.

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8. I never knew how much toilet paper I could go through. Does walking to the bathroom 800 times a day count as exercise? I guess this is preparing me for the millions of diapers we will go through.

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9. 4am – So much energy. So much drive. Let’s write a book. Let’s clean the house. Can’t wait to seize the day. PLEASE just fall back asleep. I wonder if I am going to be a good mother. Maybe I should research _______ (fill in the blank with the most random things possible) The rollercoaster sleep patterns… again, I am sure just another way of your body preparing you for what’s to come with never sleeping again once your little bundle of joy enters the world.

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10. Early on… I am going to track EVERYTHING that happens during pregnancy. Later on… geez, what did I track about my pregnancy *looks back at texts, videos, photos, etc. to try and piece it altogether*

11. “Wow you’ve really popped.” “You’re getting bigger and bigger every time I see you.” “You sure there’s just one in there?” “Oh, wow you still have ____ weeks left?” Hey, people, you’re supposed to get bigger during pregnancy. Homegirl is growing a human inside. Thanks for stating the obvious.

12. I didn’t have weird cravings. However, when a particular food popped into my head, I got pretty set on it and nothing could stand in my way. Wait, is that any different than not pregnant Danielle? Whether it was a spinach salad with goat cheese, cranberries, almonds and balsamic vinaigrette dressing or McDonald’s french fries and a caramel sundae… get out of my way, honey. Speaking of honey, I’ve been obsessed with making acai bowls and there HAS to be honey drizzled on them.

13. My favorite foods rose to a whole new level. There were several times that I almost cried when eating certain foods because I was so happy. Couple of things that come to mind… Papa Gino’s pizza and Knead Doughnuts.

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14.  This is taking forever.  This is flying by.  *thinks about childbirth*…. can I just skip that part?  Maybe stay pregnant forever?  If people have more than one kid, it can’t be that bad, right?  No, it can be.  AHHHHHH.  What have we done!?   Is it the same way when you say “I am never drinking again”?  “I am never having another kid.” And then somehow, someway you enter the dark place again and before you know it… HAAALP!?

15.  Ok for real, how can a baby have that much power already with kicks and punches? Are you trying to hurt me?

16.  Did I always talk to myself this much? Even if it is just in my head and not out loud?  I swear, I’ve had more conversations with myself than ever before… or maybe this is how I’ve always been?  Or am I more clearheaded now that there’s no alcohol or caffeine in my life?

17.  …well, sometimes they’re not just with myself.  I can talk to little guy because he has no choice but to listen and can’t talk back (yet).  It is odd (and amazing) for how 9 months you’re never *alone*.  Especially once it got to the point where I could feel him moving… it was a constant reminder, along with my growing waist line, that I always had him with me.

18.  You just ate.  How are you hungry again? Me, not him.  Yet again, I guess this is how newborns are too… The other day, I told my Mom that I had to eat again, because the baby was hungry.  I think we both know that it doesn’t work like that, but hey, it seemed like a great logic for me to head to the kitchen again for breakfast #3.

“Pregnant Pam and I, we get hungry at the same times so we’ve been eating together a lot. Not all meals. Just, second breakfast, lunch, second lunch, and first dinner.” – Kevin, The Office

19. Some moments, I just feel like this:

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20. These pants didn’t fit last week, so let’s try them again this week, surely this will fit. Give it up, girl.

21. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what your friend, coworker, relative, stranger, ANY other person felt, didn’t feel, did, didn’t…during their pregnancy. Sometimes, you just gotta focus on Y.O.U…. Or maybe all the time? 😉

22. There are some people that just know exactly what to say sometimes. Cherish those words. More importantly, cherish those people.

23. I’ve eaten more of Annie’s Organic Bunny Fruit Snacks than I ever thought imaginable. My best friend, Ashley’s son loves them, so at least maybe her son and mine can share them together at snack time in the future…unless I steal them from them both.

24. Dance while you’re pregnant. Even if the only place you feel like doing it is while you’re home alone. Just avoid socks on wood floors.

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25. Teach a toddler that there’s “a baby in your belly” so they point to other woman’s stomachs and say baby!… Sorry, Britt.

26. It’s a good idea to test out party poppers if you’re doubtful on how they work. Even still, be sure to instruct the group in detail. It can make or break surprises… Luckily, it didn’t flop entirely 😉

27. Know your limits. I had plans on teaching Pure Barre up until the last possible month. I finally came to the realization for a number of reasons, that it was time to drop the mic… I’m still having a bit of anxiety about it and wondering if I am going to really stay away… but the clock is ticking and if I don’t get back on it soon, I will see ya post baby, chicas!

28. Speaking of limits, for years I’ve seen other teachers and clients do certain things in class during the pregnancy where I was like daaang, girl. As things progressed, I learned that just like I always preached, that every client / teacher is different, I too, would be different. Some days it was more humbling than others. I never thought that I could develop a deeper connection with my body, but taking class during pregnancy, I go into a whole different zone… Talking myself through every aspect of class. While every day is different and some days I would modify more than others…over time, I got to find how even though I was modifying, I was able to challenge myself in a whole new way. I could probably write a lot more on this… so I will save that for another day.

29. Since I’m on the topic though… I’ve had moments where I’ve been so proud of what I can still accomplish when working out and then other days where I feel discouraged and get extremely frustrated. It’s a see saw of emotions and I always try to find the balance to make sure the glass remains half full rather than empty. Yes, I’ve had to accept that my arms don’t look as toned, but those arms will be strong and able to hold my baby boy. Yes, my legs looks a little softer, but they’ve done an excellent job of carrying me around and finding a whole new level of strength as I continued to lose it in my core. I’m extremely grateful for finding an even deeper connection with my breath. Of course, connecting your movements to your breath when working out is always important…it reaches a whole new level when you have less space for your lungs. I like to think that all of my focus on breathing and controlling specific parts of my body throughout class… is going to help me when the big day comes. *fingers crossed*

30. Have you fallen asleep yet? I sure haven’t. I’ve never been a big napper, but every so often these days, I find myself knocked the heck out. Earlier today, I was on the couch and the next thing I knew I woke up two hours later…whoops! Overall, I’ve still had a lot of energy and felt pretty good (once I made it through the first trimester) but, I’ve really learned to listen to my body even more. Plus, everyone tells me to sleep now while I can…as if that’s going to make it any better when I don’t get to sleep once he gets here.

31. Pregnancy tests often work…. just in case you didn’t know.  You may not need to overdo it with how many you take 😉
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32. I can see why a lot of celebrities like to stay out of the spotlight during their pregnancy and / or keep their little ones to themselves early on. Like back off, weirdos.

33. My hair is the healthiest it’s been in quite some time…which could be thanks to the vitamins, lack of washing / blow drying / straightening / coloring it… but, one thing I am most definitely not complaining about.

34. My nails on the other hand… they’ve gone through phases of being long and strong and then brittle and breaking… what’s up with that?

35.  I miss the dance floors.  I’ve been ok with not drinking… probably because I have no other choice LOL… but some days I just feel like I need to go out and hit the dance floor.  Until we meet again…

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36. I lose track of how long I am in the shower. I’ve always taken long showers, but now, I legitimately question whether or not I need to set a timer or something. However, I do end up coming up with some really great ideas while I am in there, so it is pretty productive.

37. I’m excited for all my friends and family to meet the baby, but most excited for my parents and Randall’s mom to meet him. For them to get to see their kids creating a kid must be pretty cool… right?

38. When I listen to some of Beyonce’s songs lately I am literally like…

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39.  Typically I can tend to be pretty emotional and cry easily… but since, I’ve been pregnant it’s been weird.  Things that SHOULD make me cry, don’t…. and then other times I’ll get emotional about something so random.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are certain things that should get the waterworks going… and do… like this.

40.  Oh, and this.

41.  It’s definitely hard when I think about that Samantha won’t be here to spoil her nephew or that Randall’s dad won’t watch his son become a father, but I know that they, along with my Papa, Peter and everyone else who is no longer physically with us…. will be so proud of us as they shine down all of their love and protect over Baby Thompson.

42.  I feel like I’ve always had really bizarre dreams.  I didn’t think they could get any weirder…but they have.  Will this get better or worse post pregnancy?!

43.  Almost there.  Yes, with this post but I’ve found this being a common theme over the past months.  Planning is great and all, but there are certain things in life, like pregnancy, that you just have to kind of go with it.  Take it as it comes.  One day at a time.  I tried (key word tried) to stop obsessing about things as much as possible.  Focusing on what needs to be done in the next few hours…next few days… and so on.  I’m quite the planner when it comes to work and my personal life, but have tried to channel even more of the need for planning into my work and take a little bit out of my personal life.  It’s a work in progress.

44.  I know everyone always says it, but how can you already love someone so much that you’ve never even met?  The anticipation is killin’ me!  C’mon and get here… well no, not yet… but you get the idea.

45.  Are baby registries supposed to take days upon days to create?  I felt like it took me forever to create / finish it.  Was that just me?  I finally had to cut myself off from it.

46.  How is there another Danielle Cote having a baby around the same time in Rhode Island?

47.  In my blog post from November 11, 2016, I’m Coming Home Again, I had concluded with …. “This isn’t a new chapter….it’s a whole new book.”  Funny how life works out…. little did I know all that would happen in the months to come!

48.  I’ll never not be worried about what my Mom thinks about the decisions that I make and what I do…. when I called her to share the news, I somehow felt like I was 15 years old confessing to something.  I’ve never been good at lying to her or keeping anything from her… I guess that’s a good thing.  How do I instill this fear in my children?!

49.  I’m overwhelmed with joy when I think of all the possibility that lies ahead.  For myself, for Randall and I and now for “our little family”

50.  The best is yet to come.

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This is the most all over the place thing that I have ever written… If you made it to this point, you deserve an award.

Have a wonderful night (or day)! ❤

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