“Sometimes we have to leave home in order to find out what we left there, and why it matters so much.” — Shauna Niequist
Alright, I know it’s not summer just yet, but after quite the odd April and first half of May, I am so ready for the summer, summer, summertime. I am sure if you grew up in the South (or wherever you grew up) you also love summer nights … but, for me, there’s always been something particularly special about Northern summer nights.
I just got back from Denver and it happened to snow there yesterday…after they had great weather all week. Everyone back home, made sure to let me know that it was 90 degrees and sunny. Ugh, of course. Get. Me. Back. Home.
It took me two and a half hours to get home from the Boston Airport tonight, which is expected on a Friday night, but still doesn’t make it any less annoying. I rushed in, once I got home, made myself a Moscow Mule and threw in an Amy’s frozen dinner. Hey, I’ve been gone all week and have been eating pah-rit-tee healthy…for the past 2 weeks, people.
My new favorite F word, is out of town, and left our place nice and tidy (thanks, boo). It felt so great to be back home. Literally home. I never really thought I would move back to where I grew up. Yes, it’s not the town I grew up in, but it’s close.
I stepped out on the porch that’s attached to the kitchen and started to cry. I moved to North Carolina at the end of the summer in 2005, so just under 12 years ago. Yes, I would come home in the summer, but every time I came home, whether it was for the holidays, a wedding, a funeral… my time here always seemed way too short. At the same time, over the past 12 years, I’ve crammed so so much in. Of course, that’s a wonderful thing and so many of those years are filled with amazing memories and excellent experiences. However, I’ve alway had moments where I need to slow down…and I don’t.
When I stepped out on the porch, I immediately flashed back to the house that I spent the majority of my adolescent and teenage years at… on Rocco Drive in Blackstone, MA. Years…months..weeks…days…minutes spent with my parents, sister, cousins, Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, friends of the family and friends at that house.
I think for anyone, there’s something really special about summer nights… especially for those who have dealt with a winter that never seems to end. It makes you appreciate it that much more. I guess the same goes for when you have bad times or seem to being going through a rut… you will just appreciate the good times that much more.
It’s been six months since I’ve been back “home”. Being here is truly special. There are so many wonderful people that I get to see more often than I have over the past eleven and a half years… Don’t get me wrong, it (and I) am still a work in progress and I need to learn to make even more time to see all of the magnificent people that I know here.
I still can’t believe that in just over a week, it will mark six years since Samantha has been gone. Over the past six years, I have ALWAYS felt her with me. Now, being HOME, I feel her with me more than ever… especially on a night like tonight.